In my psychotherapy practice, I encourage my clients to bring more awareness and mindfulness into their daily lives.
We can so oftentimes feel rushed, scattered and onto the next thing, that we rarely enjoy what this moment has to offer. In being present, it allows us to calm down, lose some of the anxiety, and fully take in what is happening around us.
Conversations start to be more fulfilling, our lives feel less rushed, and our nervous system settles. The art of mindfulness is a practice-one that has to be remembered throughout the day. The more we practice, the easier it becomes.
Allow-by Danna Faulds
There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightening bolt,
containing a tornado. Dam a stream, and it will create a new
channel. Resist, and the tide will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground. The only
safety lies in letting is all in-
the wild with the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
when loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your
known way of being, the whole
world is revealed to your new eyes
There are times in our lives when the pain and the suffering are too much to bear; when the heart ache wants to eat us whole and all we want to do is go with it. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the ending of a relationship, or an argument with a friend, the sadness and feelings in our heart can overwhelm us and at points, convince us it might be too hard to carry on.
Sometimes we find ourselves tightly wound to our beliefs, remembering who hurt us, who we are angry with, and who disappointed us. We hold grudges, cling onto resentments, and feel tightly wound and bound to our opinions and perspectives.
-As you wake up, see if you can notice how you are doing before you automatically jump out of bed. Take inventory: How does your body feel? Do you feel rested? What is your intention for the day? Do all of this before your feet even hit the floor.
Saturday12/3 in NYC, 11-3pm
Communication skills training in NYC for couples and individuals: problem resolution, resolve conflict, communicate more effectively.
ONE DAY ANGER WORKSHOP – November 12, 2011-
Midtown MFT provides an in-depth look at the core of anger. If you experience frequent, intense anger and behave destructively to yourself or others when angry, you may benefit from this anger management workshop.
Clients can expect:
- Body and breath work: Techniques to observe, and bring awareness to what is happening in the body when we get angry.
- Identifying unmet needs: We will identify unmet physical and emotional needs that prevent us from resolving conflict and relating to others successfully.
- Negative thinking: We will explore how childhood patterns and core beliefs contribute to “right/wrong and should thinking” which often leads to feelings of anger, helplessness, and shame.
- Healthy vs. unhealthy anger: We will discuss the difference between healthy anger and recurrent problematic anger: the feeling of anger itself is not the problem, rather the automatic, often unconscious, reactive patterns of expressing anger that can lead to disconnection from loved ones.
Women’s Anger Management Group, Anger Class, in NYC, Midtown, New York – 2 spaces left!!
When anger is kept inside without a voice or when it continually erupts it can cause great distress. When anger is expressed safely it can be a great catalyst for change and discovery.
At Midtown MFT, we provide a safe space for women to explore and discover all their anger is, where its rooted, and how to create change in their relationships.
This Group Meets Tuesdays at 6:30pm @ $60/session.
This group focuses on:
- Techniques to help moderate reactive anger by learning about our own needs and what is behind our “upset”
- How emotions impact our body and ways we can use body sensations to help us become aware of our reactivity
- How to be more compassionate and empathic with ourselves and others.
- How to be more articulate and effective in communicating.
- Understanding and taking personal responsibility for our perceptions and our thoughts.
- Looking more deeply at unconscious patterns and ways of thinking that may be getting in the way of communicating more effectively
- New ways to respond to emotional triggers in intimate relationships, the workplace, and family by identifying and owning feelings, setting boundaries, and communicating needs.When anger is kept inside without a voice or when it continually erupts it can cause great distress. When anger is expressed safely it can be a great catalyst for change and discovery.
Through a new insight into the protection anger provides, clients will learn to focus and witness their own wounding that precedes anger, to stop waiting for the source of their anger to change, and to find within themselves the strength and courage to accept the call to action: a voice holding us accountable for our own suffering.
The primary teaching used in this workshop comes from the work of Marshall Rosenberg and his “Nonviolent Communication” model.
For more information, call us at 917-968-5599 and ask to speak with Rachel McDavid, LMFT, the group facilitator.
To register online follow this .
Many of us at some point in our lives have heard the tale of Chicken Little. The story begins with Chicken Little having a perfectly normal day minding his own business when suddenly an acorn falls on his head. Chicken Little instantly perceives that the sky must be falling, the world is ending and that he must inform the king of the coming apocalypse.
Along his journey he meets his friends, Henny Penny, Turkey Lurkey, Ducky Lucky and Goosey Loosey who all immediately accept his claim of the worldwide collapse and band together until they meet Foxy Loxy who views the nervous bunch as dinner and pulls them into his cave, never to be heard of again.
This article is co-authored by Larry Torrent and Mary Myers
One of the greatest challenges facing those who have experienced depression or chronic anxiety is the question of how to stop it recurring. Ironically, the success of modern depression treatments has actually increased this problem. The most common treatment for Continue reading
Remember that life may lead you to a place unexpected. Have faith that you are exactly where you need to be.
“We’ll see” was often a phrase that we heard growing up that would send us away rolling our eyes and knowing that the answer was probably a no. As I have been working with my meditation practice, I notice this phrase has more value than I seemed to realize. Instead of grasping and
I wrote previously about a great creative exercise to help transform the meaning and shape of anxiety, from a place of overwhelm where it feels like our entire being, to a place of clarity, where anxiety has reason, shape, and purpose.
This article takes it a step further to explore our relationship with anxiety, just as we would any other person in our life, with hope that by re-framing and re-defining anxiety, more options will open for a life with more peace.
I recently attended a weekend workshop about anger from the Buddhist perspective, and I was reminded of some beliefs that are present in the way I work with clients struggling with anger.
One of the things Narayan Liebenson Grady said was “in the arising of anger there can be a temporary feeling of strength. The sense of power and pleasure [which can sometimes occur] can be seductive. [However] After this initial feeling we can start losing power and our perspective gets lost. We only see partially. Continue reading
When I can be the witness,
all manner of miracles occur -
old wounds heal, the past
reveals itself to be released,
“Our emotions need to be as educated as our intellect. It is important to know how to feel, how to respond, and how to let life in so that it can touch you.”
in the stillness
of the cold, sharp air
as first light appears,
by the absence of
Unruly thoughts dissipate.
Touched by the light
water, mountain, sky.
Longing, defined as a strong, persistent desire or craving, especially for something unattainable or distant, can show up in many forms. Longing to be somewhere else, to be with someone else, to be someone else or even perhaps to feel something else.
Longing can remove us from the present moment, wishing we were somewhere else. Moments, days, or weeks can go by, and we realize that we are no longer showing up in our everyday life. We can feel disconnected, unhappy, and dull. We are coasting, getting by, and longing for other
Slide into the unknown
The Beloved is waiting
Climb down the rickety ladder
Into the mysterious cave of your body
Where your own quiet music plays
Communication skills training in NYC for couples and individuals for problem resolution, to resolve conflict and communicate more effectively.
From Isolation to Connection:
How to speak and listen in ways that are felt, heard, and understood.
Sometimes we feel the angriest with the ones we love most, and we find ourselves in repeating patterns of reactivity, when what we really crave is to be heard and understood by our partners. How do we break through this and get our needs and wants met?
We feel more and react more with those closest to us. This may be because they matter to us more or simply because we spend more time with them. We have needs and wants that go unmet because we haven’t learned how to communicate them successfully. We often create expectations and then
Vulnerability is our capacity to be wounded, emotionally or physically.
Many of us believe that we must do whatever we can to avoid such suffering. In doing this, however, in staying ‘safe’, we may miss the discovery of our greatest strengths and invitations to actualize our potential.
Human nature is paradoxical. Our bodies are at once incredibly fragile and enduring. A body can recover from 13 rounds of chemotherapy or rupture unexpectedly because of a tiny clot in a blood vessel. We live surrounded by stories of human fragility and miraculous endurance. It is our work to find a way to stand in our beautiful contradiction. Continue reading
When going through a difficult time in our lives we tend to think that the challenging period is going to last forever. Below is a funny, helpful song from the musical ‘Avenue Q’ which reminds us that everything in life is only for now.
Everyone’s a little bit unsatisfied.
Everyone goes ’round a little empty inside.
Take a breath,
Swallow your pride,
Implications for Trauma Treatment
Need more incentive to meditate? A recent study headed by Sara Lazar and colleagues at Massachusetts General Hospital documented measurable changes in brain regions associated with memory, empathy, and stress after just 8 weeks of daily meditation practice.
More specifically, the MR images showed increased grey-matter density in the hippocampus, known to be important for learning and memory, and decreased grey-matter density in the amygdala, known for its role in fear conditioning and stress.
This has strong implications for utilizing mindfulness meditation
This article helps name and support the journey from 20-something to 30-something. If anxiety has plagued you through this period you are not alone…
During our terribly awkward teenage years, many of us fantasized about what it would be like to be in our mid-late 20′s.
We were certain that our relationships, career and social life would all be neatly in place long before we hit 30. Even during those sweaty, clumsy goodbyes at the end of summer camp, our teenage selves were sure we’d have it all together by then. It seemed so far away.
(From Wet Hot American Summer, 2001)
: You guys, I’m really going to miss this place.
: Me too.
This is a great creative exercise to help you move from a place of overwhelm, when anxiety feels like your entire being, to a place of clarity, where anxiety has reason, shape, and purpose.
Anxiety tends to want to free float around our mind and body, antagonizing and taunting us, shaking us until we become paralyzed with fear. We can’t move because we are afraid. We are afraid because we can’t move. It’s a never ending cycle.
We feel powerless and unable to gain control over our own lives. It’s almost like having an unruly and dangerous animal living inside of us; biting, growling, and clawing until we give in to its demands.
So how do we gain our control back? How do we become unstuck from this perpetual cycle of fear and dread?
Have you ever noticed how your judgments about what you think is happening can quickly fuel and escalate a situation? And later look back and see that much of what you were thinking, and the intensity of what you were feeling, had very little to do with the situation at the time?
Our anger is often a result of compounded situations that have not been dealt with, which add fuel to whatever is stimulating us at the moment. It is as if we are on automatic pilot and are only able to see what is painful to us. When we get “triggered” we seem to lose all rational understanding.
It’s as if we no longer know how to take care of ourselves, and so lose our ability to navigate our emotions. What is going on? How can a tone of voice, or a look, set us off to the point where we lose all reason and rationality?
Stay in the Chair…It Will Happen: For Clients Unsure of the Process of Long-Term Therapy.
A very common first question by clients who haven’t been in therapy before is “How long will this take?” The question of time and commitment is important, as belief systems are sometimes centered around ideas of ‘needing help’. As a therapist, I have experienced, many times, clients limiting their growth simply because they want it to happen now, and have a hard time believing in the concept of time.
So when the question of time comes up, I usually have a standard answer that educates people in the process of therapy, but one time I had a little fun and said, “You have had 42 years making you who you are today and I can assure you that if you commit to coming here weekly, for the next 42 years, you will love the transformation you can make!”Read this info here